Friday, December 18, 2009


The other day I picked Erin up from school. This was one of those days that Eric was off and I didn't have to take Aiden, so I have no witnesses to this conversation. (Of course Aiden would not have been a good witness anyway so I guess it doesn't matter) I can not even tell you what the conversation was about I was so stunned at how many times my four year old used the word "like" to tell me a story that I have no memory of what it was about. I am a little worried because if she at 4 is already using this word more than necessary what will she be like as a teenager. LORD HELP ME!!! I need prayer!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

A Precious Moment

I have to share some sweet moments with this precious girl of mine. I chose this picture because it shows her free wheelin', not a care in the world, no fear, happy personality. This girl with the exception of a few moments has been smiling and loving life from the moment she entered the world. She loves to be around people and knows no stranger. I could go on forever but I just wanted you to see her happy little face while I explain this little story.
Some of you know we went on another interview at a church a few weeks ago. This was actually Erin's birthday weekend and even though we did not get that job we really did enjoy our time there. It was relaxing and very comfortable meeting all of the people at this church. During one of our meetings, a lunch meeting with the pastor and his wife Erin made her way right between he and his wife. It really was precious she just wants to love on everyone and for them to do the same. So as we waited for our food we decided to pray ahead of time. She wanted to pray for our meal. She did an outstanding job as she normally does and we were all smiles....until....the pastor says how sweet it is to hear children pray. Then I had to open my mouth and say "it's fun to talk to Jesus isn't it Erin?" Oh dear what came out of her mouth next...
"Mom, who's Jesus?"
Jaws dropped, I was speechless and i think Eric was as well. After a few seconds we all just laughed and moved on.
Moving on to just a couple of weeks ago. My great uncle passed away just before thanksgiving and his funeral was the weekend after. Since I am still living with my parents the kids and I were able to tag along and attend the funeral. Eric had to stay behind and work.
This really was a sweet time for many reasons. One being this is a side of the family we don't see often but are still very close, so when we do get to see each other it is a time of remembering and talking as though we had not missed a day. This was a nice time for my kids especially for Erin because she is getting older and his able to understand and remember things a lot better.
On Friday we went to the funeral home for the visitation and I walked up to the casket with both kids, and as I was approaching I began to think what will I say if she asks questions. It had dawned on me to late that maybe I should have talked about this with her before we went up there, but we were there and I had to think of something quick. Luckily Aiden was with his Aunt Leah and I was able to focus on talking with Erin.
She did not disappoint as soon as we got up there she asked "Who is that mom?" So I explained this is "Mimi's uncle, my great uncle, and your great great uncle" To which she nodded with complete understanding (he he..not really) I just kept going.
"He died and is going to be with Jesus" Erin of course came through with her "why" question over and over. In a nutshell this is what I explained to her:
He got very sick, very quickly and wasn't getting better, so God thought it would be better if he came to live with him for now. Now he is up in heaven and is not sick anymore.
This is where it gets me every time I think of this story. She looked at me with her big brown eyes and said "But mom, I want to live with Jesus!"
OH! With tears in my eyes I said I know you do, and you will some day, but for now Jesus lives with you in your heart.
She is a precious little girl and I'm pretty confident she knows who Jesus is!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

My Girl is 4!

These are a bunch of random pictures from Erin's birthday party. She turned for last Sunday but we were out of town and weren't able to celebrate until this Saturday. It was lots of fun and I love this girl soooooooooo much. I keep telling her she needs to stop growing and she tells me
"but God wants me to grow" and well.....I can't argue with that.
This is my boy (like you didn't know already) This day was so busy that by the end of the night I had realized I didn't get to see or snuggle my boy at all that day. I missed him.

This is a beautiful dress that Eric's mom made for Erin Marie to play dress up.

For some reason our camera was taking horrible pictures this day, but this dress is beautiful and full of glitter. We all agree this is better than any store bought dress up outfit. Erin asked me this morning if she could wear it to school today.

This is part of the crazy present opening process

We like to do art projects, so I picked up these cheap ceramic pony's for the girls to paint.

They had a good time

Cake Time!
The most expensive cake I have ever paid for. EVER!! I will never do that again.

This was actually before the party, little miss diva was giving me some poses.

Yet another pose, she is a precious girl.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Little Monkeys

So the kids and I have had a little too much togetherness lately. They were sick for about two weeks and Erin still has a cough. Which meant that we spent a lot lot lot of time at home inside together! I can't tell who was the crabbiest the kids or me. It was probably a tie. Anyway needless to say I have dealt with bad attitude, sever temper tantrums and the most unusual disagreements between a 2 and 3 year old. For a while I thought I might lose my mind. This however, makes it all worth it. This is why I stay home with my babies.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Oh My Gracious!! I love this Boy!

This is my boy! Aiden Nathaniel can melt my heart at times and other times cause me to completely lose my patience. This however is one of those times he melts my heart. The top picture we were at our church fall festival and were walking to the bouncy house. He stopped in front of me grabbed my legs and said in the sweetest little voice:
"I love you momma!"
Oh my word I just wanted to squeeze him and never let go.
Aiden has also started talking so much that he has developed a slight stutter. He just gets to talking to fast and can't get his words out. Yesterday he suddenly discovered that he has a problem and would get hung up on the word "you"
This won't be the same as actually hearing him say this but here is an idea of what it sounds like.
"yu yu yu yu yu....Ohhhhhh( in a growling voice) I bedder slow down" (giggle giggle)
It was so cute I couldn't help but laugh and smile at him. He's so smart it didn't take him long to realize that when we tell him to slow down we mean slow down his speech so he can get his words out.
I LOVE HIM!! Thank you God for this precious little boy!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Uncle Matthew.....he's kinda silly

The little girl you hear screaming is actually Ethan. Then there is Barnabas who is also screaming in the background

More of silly uncle Matthew. When we went to Ohio for our interview last week, there was a little boy named Ethan that was there for her to play with. On finding out that his name was Ethan she began to tell the pastor about her cousins, the conversation sounded like this:

Erin: .....I have an Ethan too, and there's Maddie, aunt Cindi and uncle Matthew...but he's kinda silly.

She loves her uncle Matthew.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Washable Markers

This is why we use washable markers. This is also what happens when mommy doesn't feel good and isn't paying attention to what the kids are doing. After he had done this he also filled is diaper and so as I was trying to get him clean with a wash cloth he began to get impatient with me, he started to get sweaty and the marker slowly dripped down his forehead. Then he got really mad at me because the wet washcloth was not getting it off of his hand quick enough and he started to cry. Now the marker is getting in his eye dripping down his nose and into his mouth. It was at this point I decided I was just going to put him in the tub and hose him down. As I was washing him, he was screaming at me because he does not like the shower head, he likes the bath better, so I used this as a nice teaching moment. This is how the conversation went between Aiden and I:
Aiden: (screaming) I want bath....I want bath....
Me: I'm trying to hurry up Aiden, I just want to get you clean, it's not really bath time.
Aiden: (screaming) NO!!!
Me: Aiden, are you going to write on yourself with a marker again.
Aiden: (in the saddest little tiny voice) no.

Monday, August 31, 2009

What am I supposed to learn from this?

Wow it has been a very stressful day for me. I don't mean to sound selfish it has been a stressful day for many in my family today and my heart is hurting for them. I'm just not sure where to begin with all that is going through my head today. I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach, like I have a boulder sitting right in the middle. I feel at any moment I could "toss my cookies", I'm a little shaky as well.

So here's the story. I told you in my last post that Eric and I were going to Indiana for an interview. What I didn't tell you is that Thursday before we went I was in a small car accident. It was very minor and no one was hurt, just very inconvenient. I was actually on my way to get Erin from preschool. It was at a four way stop and of course there is a disagreement as to whose turn it was. Anyway long story short today is the day that I took my car to get it looked at by the other persons insurance. So far things have gone very easy and it seems even her insurance carrier agrees it was not my fault. I just got a little nervous that it wouldn't go well this morning, this is all new to me because my last car accident was when I was sixteen. I had to go by myself with my two kids, who by the way were extremely well behaved. Turns out it went very well I didn't have to answer any questions, he basically checked out my car and gave me the papers. We still have to wait for the police report and for them to finish the "investigation". (I'm not really fond of that word, it makes me feel a little like a criminal)

Back to the interview. Friday morning we had our interview and it went well....I think. I am always second guessing myself after the fact. I judge myself pretty harshly. I want this so badly for Eric and for myself and our family. After talking with the pastor we really felt like this is a family and community oriented church. It seems to be the perfect fit for us. Who knows the other six people were probably thinking the same thing. So after we left we were told Monday or Tuesday we should hear something. So here we are Monday at 4:11p.m. and still haven't heard anything. My mind is wandering and I know you won't be surprised by this but here are a few thoughts I have had today.
"we haven't heard because he doesn't want to disappoint us."
"They have probably already called the person they want and are just holding off on telling the rest of us."
"did we say something that would have completely changed his mind"
"We've been out of the ministry for a year....who's going to want us now."
So now if we don't hear anything by the end of today, I have to go through this another day.

On a side note: this is also Eric's birthday. I am feeling bad because we have had so much going on this last weekend that I haven't had time to plan anything. I realize that birthdays are not all about the presents but I am also feeling bad because I haven't gotten him anything either. He is always so good at making sure I feel celebrated and loved on my birthday. I want so badly to one year really surprise him and make him feel loved and supported. On top of that because we are down to one car the poor guy has to take the bus home from work. Now I don't mean to sound like I am complaining I am just explaining my feelings of "why God why?"

Now for my last and final concern for the day. My uncle is in the hospital today. He went in last night and has been in for the day. I know it has to do with his heart but that it was not a heart attack yet. I have not heard an update but I'm sure I would have heard if things had gotten worse. As far as I know it's good he went in and that they have caught this in it's early stages. I know that for any family it is hard to hear a loved one is in the hospital. I just know that even though we all don't see each other as often as we would all like, we are a very close family. It is hard because my grandpa died at such a young age and I know that this thought has probably crossed other minds today. We are all praying for you uncle Charlie and love you very much.

I am blessed to be a part of such a strong christian family that we can ban together and lift each other up in prayer. What touches me the most is that even in this unexpected occurrence with my uncle, I am still getting messages from aunts and cousins that they are praying for Eric and I as well.

So in all of this I am wondering what is the lesson today? What should I take from this all? I know that I will make it through this day, maybe even a little bit stronger than I was. I know that I am thankful for this day even in all the trials.

" Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done. Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts. Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice. Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always. Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced,..." Psalm 105:1-5

Thursday, August 27, 2009

A prayer Request

So for all my blog followers, (which I know are mostly family and friends) I am asking for a little prayer for Eric and I. We will be driving to Terra Haute Indiana tomorrow morning in the very early hours to meet with a pastor about a potential youth pastor position. I am anxious and excited about this. I have such a good feeling about this church and am fearing disappointment. God has gotten us this far for a reason and I am praying as well as Eric that this turn into a job for him. I'm not sure if I'm making sense, I've had a long day but wanted to recruit some prayer warriors on our behalf. We are one of five candidates they are looking at and things may change after tomorrow but as of right now we are both excited about the possibility of taking this job. We shall see. I will keep you updated. Thanks in advance for the prayers. Oh and our meeting time is 9:30 a.m. Indiana time and 8:30 a.m. Illinois time. Also pray that we make it there safely.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Late I know! Erin's first day of Preschool

Well they are kind of out of order but you get the picture. This was one excited little girl starting preschool. It was a fun day and she enjoyed every bit of it. She told me that she wanted to go back every day. I took that as a good sign she liked it. She also said to me "mom, my teacher made me take a rest with my shoes on." She thought that was a little odd because at home we take our shoes off when we take a rest. She had a great time and I was glad to have her back by the end of the day. I'm glad it's only two days a week.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

More Video of Holiday World

Erin was a very brave girl, going on all kinds of rides. This was the kid version of an adult ride. When we saw the big one she wanted to go on that one too. We are lucky that she wasn't tall enough for that ride yet....shew! Although there were not too many adult rides that she couldn't go on. I don't know what we'll do next year....let's hope daddy is still willing to go on those rides with her, because mommy has a very weak stomach.

Watch this video of Erin and daddy, listen closely she is the little girl giggling in the background.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Our trip to Holiday World

This is a video of the kids in the kiddie bumper boats. Watch Aiden in the back ground, it makes me laugh every time. We had such a good time. Thanks Grandma and Grandpa! I will post more pictures and videos later. This one was my favorite.

Precious Photos

Eric came across an old memory card from our old camera. We hadn't emptied the pictures onto the computer yet. It was fun to see how much we've all changed in such a short time. I have not shown any of me, Eric says that these pictures were from my healthier days (meaning I was eating well) I am happy to say I have slimmed down nicely and have finally lost most of the baby weight. Anyway I thought I would share some of our memories.
This was our other dachshund Zach, he was a sweet dog who loved to sit in your lap. He would try so very hard to lick everyone in the nose. He loved people. We miss him a lot he was hit by a car in the front of our house in Michigan and this was probably one of the last pictures we took of him. He was a big fan of the boppy.

Mimi with her girls

Isabella really does look like Erin.

Toilet Bear! Erin thought he needed to go potty.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Some Random Thoughts

I thought I would give you a little peak into my mind. I know you are all sitting on the edge of your seats waiting to hear what wisdom I will give to you. Just hold on to your seats cause here I go.

I do some of my best thinking in the bathroom. There are times that I come out of the bathroom full of good ideas, although after I speak them out loud Eric is never as excited about them as I am. Anyway I'm not sure why it is that I do good thinking in there. Maybe because it's the only room in the house that I can actually get a few minutes to myself. This is what was going on in my head while I was getting ready for the day.

Erin was on my mind because we really had a bad day yesterday. She always has a pout on her face and just has a bad attitude. So as I am replaying the day through my mind I'm trying to figure out where I have gone wrong. I figure it's normal for a mother to question her parenting skills. I'm just feeling a little stressed and not sure what to do with her. I replayed a conversation Eric and I had after he came home. (He had taken Aiden to go hit some golf balls and Erin went to church with me, Erin had an episode at church also) As he walked in the door I said as politely as I could "Eric, just so you know....I'm done, she is bathed, pjs on I'm taking the rest of the night off." Even as I said it I knew it wasn't true because I can't ignore my kids. I can't ignore what is going on around me. I feel guilty for wanting some time away from them. I did end up being the one to put Erin to bed. As I was giving her a kiss goodnight I said to her "You know I love you right?" She of course said "yes" with a big smile.

From there my thoughts switched to the bible study we had that night. I am studying Esther it's a Beth Moore bible study. We are on the end of chapter six and beginning of chapter seven. When Esther reveals to king Xerxes Hamans plan to kill her and her people. She talked about how the story is starting to come full circle. There are things happening that will start to mimic the beginning but in reverse. She called it a reversal of destiny. So cool!! She is an amazing teacher and I love to watch her and listen to her speak. As I was remembering last nights video these are the two thoughts that came to me.
1. Wow, she is so dynamic and has so much knowledge of the bible. I wonder if I could ever be that knowledgeable. I envy those who can memorize scripture so easily and who have such an understanding of the bible and it's history.
2. I love the scenario, (those who have taken this will understand what I mean by scenario)
It's tough being a woman who feels responsible for the "how." Oh how I struggle with this.

I think about that time I was getting ready to dry my hair and I heard in the back ground....."Come here drizella, I'm tinker bell." This was Erin calling Aiden Drizella. My thoughts quickly went to this:
I really have got to get some boy movies for Aiden and I wonder if I could make some play dates for him with boys. I have this fear that he may start to believe that he is actually a girl. Who knows what Erin tells him when I'm not listening. We already have an issue with him calling his underwear panties.

.....and that everyone is how quickly my thoughts can go from deep and meaningful to completely irrational thoughts of my son thinking he might be a girl.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Here are our Zoo Pictures

Aiden already didn't want his picture taken
I had never seen the front of the Rhinos before usually we get their backends.

The girls playing on a fake snake. Erin waited for Maddie to touch it before she decided it was ok.

I could never get Eric to look at me so I could take his picture.

One of the babies. We got to see them play in the water.

This was before we went to see the butterfly house. That's all Maddie talked about but when we got in there she kept saying " I want to see other animals."

This is so true!

While we were finishing our lunch the kids were all lined up on this fence looking at the animals.

Erin had brought her little pink princess camra that is actually like a view finder. She was pretending to take pictures of the animals.

The tigers were very playful that day.

It was time to go home. Momma was tired!

We had a good time at the zoo. Grammy and Aunt Cindi were with us too, but some how they managed to stay out of the pictures. It was a fun day!