I remember as a teenager how exciting it was for me to babysit. I absolutely loved to be around kids. I would always think about what it would be like to have kids of my own someday. I was definitely naive when it came to what it would be like to be a mother. It's a lot harder than I imagined.
Well that day is here and there are times when I feel so overwhelmed that I don't know what to do with myself or my kids. There are times when I feel so inadequate as a mother. I constantly look at other moms and think "boy they have it together, a lot better than I do". I often wonder if I'm doing a good job with discipline or if I am too impatient with them. I think that I'm not as consistent as I should be with them. I wonder if I need to plan more activities with them, do more art projects with them, should I be teaching them more than I am. All questions that may never have a right answer.
Then there are moments like these:
Erin puts her hands on my face and says " I love you mom"
Aiden calls out "momma momma where are you?" and comes running when he sees me.
Erin helps Aiden eat some jello, he can't get it on the spoon so she feeds it to him.
The excitement in both of their eyes when it's time to do our devotion at night.
The way Aiden loves to pray so much that he jumps up and down in his bed yelling "Amen"
Hearing Erin pray: "Thank you for all my family, Thank you for all my friends, Thank you for the rain."
These are the signs God gives me to let me know I'm not doing so bad. What a blessing my kids have been in my life. I may not do things right all the time but my God is watching over me and watching over my kids and that gives me the comfort I need to get through the days when I feel inadequate.